my missionary journal

Missionary Journal – July 1, 1989

Day 32 of my full-time mission
Area: Afton, Wyoming

I got up on time today. I was so proud! We studied for an hour, just like we’re supposed to. Then, I ate and started my individual study. I was so tired and had the worst headache because of my allergies that I fell asleep at the desk. So, I just laid down and ended up sleeping for an hour. Then, I got up, and we left to go proselyting.

There was a fourth of July parade in town today. It wasn’t bad for Afton. That was at 11 a.m.

Next, we picked up the mail and came back for lunch around 1 p.m. I got a letter from mom and dad and Laura! I was scared to read that one, so I waited until after I read mom’s letter. Laura’s letter was good. She told me all the news and asked how the mission field was. Then, she talked about my last letter. (Oh, Cindy Willey is engaged to be married in August! I can’t believe it. He’s a missionary that served in New York, apparently.)

I wish I could include her whole letter in here, but I can’t (it’ll be in my life history). So, I’ll just quote a few things: “Peter, I want you to know that I’ll always care for you, but I won’t be treated that way. I know you’re sorry, and I’m not mad or upset at all at you. I still think you’re wonderful, and I pray for your wellbeing often. Like I said before, I’d love to see us together in the future. But, I come at a cost. Respect, sincerity, love, kindness, and honesty are qualities I expect from a man. I also won’t stand second to my husband’s career, chemist, technician, actor, or whatever he may be.”

As you can tell, that letter was important to me. I think my response will be, “You’re right! I need to grow up.” I am just as impressed by her and have been told, after thinking about her quite a lot today, that I need not worry. Things will be fine. That may mean I’ve gone through restitution, and I’m forgiven for being a jerk, or it may mean she’ll be around when I get home. So, whatever. I’ll let it rest. I need to learn to act more rationally and not go to ‘hiding my feelings because it’s easier’ mode.

Our only contact today, Kathy Roden, said something that stuck with me, “I justified my actions because I said it was only hurting me. No one else would be affected, I thought.” I think that’s how I felt. I was wrong. Like Laura said, it’s a partnership. Maybe that’s why I’m on a mission to learn how to live with someone else.

Anyway, about our talk with Kathy — it was super! Experiences like that make a mission worth it. She’s ready for the discussions, her husband and daughter too. But, they weren’t home, so we went over the Articles of Faith with her. That took two hours. We talked about a lot. She really shared a lot of personal things with us. I can’t wait to teach that family.

We met another lady today. We went to her home, and she’s interested but doesn’t want to be taught until August or so. She was super nice.

I need to learn just to relax and have fun and do my best while I’m on a mission. I know I have a purpose here, and I’ll just have to wait until later to figure it out.

We were biking around at 2 p.m., and an older gentleman pulled up next to us and said, “Have you had lunch?” We had, but only a sandwich, so I said, “Not really.” So, he said, “Well, how about if I take you out to lunch?” We said, “Okay!” It turns out, he’s a Pitcher and related to my MTC companion. He’s a sealer in the Logan Temple and has been on three missions: to Hawaii when he was 18, then to New Mexico (working with Lamanites there), then to California. The last two missions were with different wives. Anyway, he was such a kind man and just wanted to be with us and talk to us about mission experiences. That was really uplifting to me. I enjoyed it.

We stopped at a member’s home on the way in tonight. She fed us dinner, so that was nice. We traveled 60 miles today, to the other side of the valley and back. Now I know why we can’t do that much. It eats up miles, and we have a quota of miles each month.

My Scripture: Jacob 2:18-19 — Before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God


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